saheeb

烦人的事情太多，
大多数我都不愿意跟别人说
草草草草草
你想怎么活就怎么活
别他妈来烦我
我就是傻逼loser又如何
自暴自弃的日子又不是第一天过
im mad cuz i m fucking bad
nobody gives a shit when you r fucking bad
time to train yourself instead of hangingout
with all the doubts but funny how now i stick with all the crowd
so loud
trynna get out
but how
我就是一个人一个人一个人
你们所有人所有人所有人
都给我滚给我滚给我滚
让我自己混自己混自己混
浪费青春浪费青春
diamond need to be dig
shit stay smelly
damn homin why am i so dirty
真没人管你那么多，
过好自己的生活就得
分享还不如不分享
初中就有人看出我是自我中心大傻逼，现在才发句句属实正中红心

Its funny

Its funny when you are so sad you want people to talk to you. However in the meanwhile you are just too sad to ask for help.

So I finally bypass the google play store region lock to download Japanese Apps！成功翻越google play 鎖區下載日區apps！

方法不知道算不算繁瑣，我先用我之前註冊的yahoo japan的郵箱註冊了地區在日本google賬號，再在我的手機上登錄我的新google賬號，再用tunnelbear把vpn設在日本，清空google play data，然後竟然就下載755成功啦~~~


Yahoo Japan email (maybe not necessary) for Japan region google account, sign in your new Japan region account on your phone. Use Tunnel Bear to change your IP to Japan. Clean app data for Google Play store, use your Japan region google account in Google Play Store to download Japan apps!!

Maybe it is just becuz she resembles someone, maybe

Pure good

Nujabe's Music is just pure good
I feel so ugly compared his music.

所以，我一定是有心理或精神上的疾病么？

这是一个理性主宰的社会，对我来说，无疑是一种遗憾与无奈。
你的所思所想，所感所受，微观看起来不过是荷尔蒙分泌，神经冲动，新陈代谢，调节反射。一切的感性-所谓的不理性，也都有其理性的解释。一个人的心理疾病，轻者也许也就是缺乏了某种营养元素；重者也就是基因遗传，难以改变。

而理性或许也有些许希望，或许我能完全了解自己，因为自己也不过是一堆细胞。
我胆小，我或许有边缘性人格，自闭症？社交恐惧症？拖延症？所谓的人格违常，中文字面意是违反常规，disorder则是混乱无序。凭什么某一类人格是正常？是有序的？

希望能够创作啊，能够创作就好，写写日记，写写歌词，录录音，什么都好，只要能创作。

为什么这么懒惰呢。

会失忆

会失忆，
所以如果还记得
就赶紧去做吧
做过而忘记
比凭空忘却
要强很多。

Anime and Manga titles I watched these two years

anime:
1. champloo samurai
2. psycho pass
3. space dandy
4. slam dunk
5. Ping Pong
6. 荒川爆笑团
7. 坂道上的阿波罗

Hopefully I can go to this events before well you know

Arsenal match
SDCC
World Cup
TED maybe
E3 maybe
summer sonic
cloud9 csgo

Recent Horror games' titles

DYING LIGHT, DAYLIGHT, OUTLAST

Game titles I've played this two years (updating all the time)

Great ones:
1. Bastion
2. Hotline Miami
3. Spec Ops: The Line
4. Tomb Raider 2013
5. Arkham Asylum
6. XCOM: Enemy Unknown
7. Grid
8. Brutal Legend
9. The Wolf Among Us
10. Pokemon HeartGold
12. O2 Jam U
13. The Banner saga
14. Mafia 2


Other games I played this two years:
1. Chinese Paladin 5
2. Fable the lost chapter
3. Max Payne 3
4. Dirt 2
5. NFS: The Most wanted
6. The Walking Dead
7. 逆轉裁判
8. The Witcher
9. 打威鳴武鬥
10. Fifa 12 13
11. Spore
12. 2k14
13. PES 2013

Anvil rock in Santa Ana

Good show, can't believe I can see them in real person.

I Cried

I cried for this song.

I cried for my uselessness.

I cried for the life.

I cried for my weakness.

缺爱

您就是缺爱

Kitkat Photo Sphere demo

Things I don't like about nexus 5 and stock Android KitKat

The first 4.0+ android system I used is the stock HTC one x one. It has many restrictions but the stock softwares are good. Task is my favorite and then the alarm and weather. Then I flashed cyanogenmod ROM 10.2 on it, and i t is a much better android experience for me. You have much more freedom of choosing whatever apps you like on you phone. And the system itself is highly tuned for advanced user. And then unfortunately I dropped my phone into the water. So now I got this new nexus 5 and android KitKat. To be honest I prefer cm 10.2.
1. It's not that easy to customize your ringtone and notification. I mean cmon Google, are you trying to be apple or what.
2. No restart phone option. Seriously?
3. Hangout is a bit confusing.
4. There are so many places should be more convenient. As for cyanogenmod ROM, you can customize your notification menu which is amazing. Also volume change in android is a big pain in the ass while on the other hand such a easy thing to fix I the stock system. Once again cyanogenmod ROM did a excellent job on the volume change you can change your alarm, media, ringtone volume whenever you want. As for stock KitKat user you have to go through several menu to change a volume, I don't think that's pretty smart. In the notification menu, you can long press to toggle WiFi and bluetooth, and how about mobile data? No you can't do shit about it using long press. You have to go through menu again. ART mode is great, photo sphere is great. But Google what not just fix the little user friendly thing first? Or you just try to say hey otherwise how do third party soft ware developers survive?
Well hell yeah cuz i got a hugh expectation for cyanogenmod phone!

二零一四年四月十日凌晨有感

与其悲伤于失去的不如意的青春，不如把青春追回来。

意义

做自己觉得有意义的事情，对得起生命的事情，竟然变得那么困难。

又一次

又一次把游戏都删了，希望能够有个好的开始吧。。

最初，到底怎么想的呢

早就记不起来了吧

自怨自艾

自怨自艾，自暴自弃，没有脾气，满心欢喜

Weather is always better than life I guess

Manhunt 2 Mac OSX Wineskin Demo Play

After spend an afternoon studying Microphone

Started from Blue Yeti, to akg and end up with samson, gonna get some recording down.

2013/2014这段时间的总结

        为什么要建博客呢？为了督促自己写作吧，至少是一种创作，对自己人生的记录与反思，从而能够有所获得与进步；也是一种练习语言表达，english writing的方法。同等重要的是交到各种各样的与自己志同道合的朋友。这或许是与自己写在之上的日记不同的地方吧。现在遇到了各种各样的麻烦。出于对于人际关系的各种顾虑，平常无法说出的心里话都会在这个博客里尝试着表达出来，又因为互联网是个没有隐私的地方，不能那么没有顾虑，所以还是有所保留。
         人生？走到了谷底，对于一切都没有了打算。觉得自己是那种生下来就注定堕落的人。各种各样的机会都被我浪费。看起来解决的方法十分的简单，只要去上课，认认真真做笔记，做作业，就可以有好成绩。但是一切其实从高中开始就不一样了。自己不能把所有的精力放在学习上，或许本身智力上就有缺陷，但是因为JewWario，我也不应该认为自己笨。自己对学习的兴趣？理科大概对于公式计算已经达到了极其厌恶的程度吧。越来越想起了父母小时候嘲笑超超哥用的话，一说要学习就想吐。现在的自己又何尝不是那样呢？暑假跟父母发生了各种各样的冲突。自己也是堕落的呆在家里。drowning in/ be comfort with this 时而充满希望，时而绝望，时而充满动力，时而万念俱灰，时而憧憬，时而厌恶的纠结的矫情的，黏稠的，浆糊一般的limbo里。一蹶不振。只等着情况变得越来越糟。惯性，惰性。有时候真觉得自己只是这个世界的负担，所有人的负担。不值得拥有我拥有的这一切，因为不懂得奋进，不懂得appreciate，be grateful，感恩。越来越无法面对父母。各种各样的事情也不能让我振作起来去学习。花了那么多的钱，却过着狗屁不如的生活。我找不到自己的兴趣了，对于创造自己的精彩而不是一味的去羡慕崇拜别人的精彩已经越来越没有信心了，虽然我从来就没什么自信。不是一个可爱的人，说这事丧气话会让朋友们觉得有我这个朋友真是depressing吧。